You know you are in the OC when...
1) You go clubbing with your OC MOM, and all the men are hitting on her
2) If the temperature drops below 70 degrees, people bust out their winter coats and UGS
3) People put their children on a leash but parade their toy dogs around, fully dressed in fancy doggie clothes, in special dog strollers at the mall. NO JOKE!
4) When they do take their 4 year old children on a walk outside, they put a pacifier in their mouth and listen to their i pod.
5) They have had at least 3 failed marriages by the tender age of 35
6) A typical conversation among 40 year old moms includes discussing how hard it is on their teenage sons because all their male friends are in love with them, (meaning the 40 year old moms)
7) If there's not a fast track sticker on your car window, you are gonna be spending most of your day in traffic
8) There's valet service at McDonald's
9) Kids get BMWs and Mercedes for their 16th Birthdays
10) There's a concierge service at the local high school
11) People wear board shorts and flip flops to church
12) Our Church is it's own little city, about 40 acres. ( Mariners of Newport Beach look it up online) Parking garage, organic cafe, bookstore, vocal lessons, play gym for kids...I've heard rumors that a small Walgreens is opening there soon. You know, in case you are in church and you need to drop off your Prozac RX, you can have it filled while you worship!
13) You are with your therapist discussing the traumatic breakup with your stylist when you realize you are late for your botox appointment! Whoopsie!
14) You have a nanny, a in- home chef, a gardener and a personal assistant. And you don't work.
15) The only reason you have a Costco membership is to purchase your monthly alcohol in bulk
16) There are about 3 Target stores within a 5 mile radius to your house
17) You can shop for hip trendy clothing at the local coffee shop
18) The Whole Foods has a wine and tapas bar in it! Halleluiah!
19) Most neighborhoods are gated so you cannot enter unless you have a VIP pass
20) Most of the junk mail ads are for beauty services such as botox, liposuction, manis/pedis, teeth whitening, weight loss drinks, potions, and lotions!
21) There is at least one photo shoot happening every time you visit the beach
22) You have more restaurant take-out menus in your kitchen than cookbooks
23) The local news always includes Britney, Lindsey
and Paris updates
24) There is a girl in the public restroom of a
restaurant who's job it is to hand you a warm towel
after washing your hands. And you can't use the
restroom unless you are prepared to tip her.
25) The valet services at Bloomingdales are known to
double, (illegally) as a handy babysitting service
when frustrated housewives have had enough and need to
"stop in" for a "quick" shoe splurge. Yep, that's
right, they just leave their little ones in the car
with the valet attendants while they buy their 500th
pair of shoes.
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